Saliva
by miscellaneous items
Summary: Kyle tells Stan he doesn't understand why people french when you get all their nasty saliva in your mouth.


"Have you ever frenched someone?"

He was ready. Adrenaline began to pump in his veins. Stan was prepared to dash out of the wooden chair he was sitting in if the redhead beside him had attempted physical assault. However, Kyle didn't even look up from the book he was reading. He and Stan had been in the library studying for exams when Stan popped up his question out of nowhere.

"No. Why?" Kyle flipped a page.

"Well, you're being awfully calm, you know." Stan said. Tension in his body was replaced with boredom. He placed his elbow on the desk and his head on his open palm, sighing.

"What do you mean?" Another page.

"I sorta... expected you to jump and go, 'ah what the hell Stan, what kind of question is that' or something. I was all set to flee if you were gonna punch me. You're not even looking at me."

Kyle closed his eyes, took a deep breath, turned his shoulders and paid full attention to the raven haired boy beside him.

"Better?"

"Much." Stan smiled. "So... you never ever frenched someone?"

"I already said no."

"I think you're lying."

"What?"

"You're lying, I can tell." Stan's smile grew into a wide grin. "You must have some confidence to remain calm about this."

"Dude," Kyle's brows furrowed slightly. "Frenching is repulsive. I haven't even kissed anyone let alone french. Jesus."

"What? You never even _kissed_ anyone? Other than your mom?" Stan laughed as Kyle hit him over the head. "My best friend is going to be the forty year-old virgin! Holy crap!"

"What's so great about frenching anyways?" Kyle's cheeks started to turn rosy. Stan couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. "I don't understand how putting your tongue in someone else's mouth feels great. I mean, you get all their saliva in your mouth! That's fucking disgusting."

"Is that how you think about it? Your tongue squishing against another person's tongue?" Stan poked his two index fingers together, then intertwining and rubbing. Kyle scowled, which caused Stan to continue excitedly. "And you get saliva in your mouth?" Stan put the two fingers he was demonstrating in his mouth, sucked on them, then pulled them out. The two fingers then proceeded to do whatever Stan pleased, except now they were slimy with dripping drool.

"Ew! Cut it out!" Kyle turned his attention back to the book he was reading. "Saliva is like mouth piss man! And you know how much I hate piss!"

Stan wasn't about to let this one go. He snaked his fingers in front of Kyle's face, blocking his view from the written text.

"Come on, Kyle, you must want to taste someone."

"I don't need their dirty saliva in my mouth to taste someone."

"Then how would you taste someone?"

"..." Kyle's eyes began to furiously look in many directions, confirming the growing nervousness for Stan. "Y-You know..." He paused again. "Lick them?"

At this Stan burst into laughter. People in the library started to stare at the howling teenager in his seat. Kyle's face turned into a bright shade of pink as he pulled down his ushanka, hoping it will shield him from the shame of his best friend making a ruckus in a public library. Unfortunately for him, Stan wouldn't stop, so eventually the librarian whisked from her desk to the two boys and asked them kindly to be quiet or get out. Stan gave no sign of stopping. Kyle apologized to the authority as he packed up his books and turned to leave, dragging a teary-eyed friend behind him, still giggling and snickering.

Kyle let go of the collar on Stan's jacket before yelling at him.

"Dude! We just got kicked out thanks to you!"

"Haha - s-sorry - hahaha - it's j-just - ha - too funny... hahahaha..."

"If I so do not get a hundred percent on the exam, Stan Marsh, god so help me, I will fucking smash your head!"

Stan eventually ceased as he could cry no more tears and breathe no more laughs.

"Chill man... haha... We can finish studying at my house."

"No! I don't want to go to your house!"

"Why not?"

"Dude! I'm pissed off at you, that's why!" Kyle turned away from Stan's face, folding his arms.

"Well," Stan licked his lips. "I can make it up to you."

"Oh, gee, I'd like to see this one." Kyle huffed, oblivious to Stan's bodily hints.

"Oh, really?"

Despite being out in public, despite the cold chilling the two boys, despite the snow fluttering down from the heavens down onto the earth, Stan embraced Kyle and pressed his lips against Kyle's. The redhead, eyes wide, was shocked at first, but regained his sense of reality. He tried to push Stan away but the stronger boy held him firmly. Stan knew he could have easily forced Kyle to open his mouth so that his tongue's lust could be satisfied, but he kept control. He was going to accomplish his mission. Stan's lips left the rosy Jew's, and suddenly ran his tongue from Kyle's cheekbone down to his chin. He stared straight into Kyle, who shivered and orbs wide, and smirked, enjoying all the akwardness between the two.

"You taste really good..." Stan whispered, licking his lips once more. He let go of the other boy's orange jacket. Kyle stumbled a bit before mumbling what sounded like "fag" under his breath. Stan's smirk morphed into a giant grin.

Kyle rolled his eyes. He wiped the side of his wet face with the back of his hand.

"Ew. Saliva."


End file.
